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In the mythology of day to day conversation, the title of this article is described as an ancient Chinese CURSE. I was reminded of it when I went to write this column, which was going to be an end of year retrospective. However, when I tried to recollect, without consulting other publications or my notes, what had happened last year, I came up almost blank. The year nineteen hundred ninety seven was definitely NOT interesting times.
The political scene was almost entirely vacuous. That is, neither the executive nor the legislative branches of government did diddley squat during the entire year. HOORAY! Unable or unwilling to reduce the size of government, the boobs in charge opted to do almost nothing at all and grew it less than usual. This resulted, it is rumored, in a budget SURPLUS, for the first time in decades. The Supreme Court did act unanimously to reject the Communications Decency Act, but then we all knew that was going to happen, right?
Bill Gates became, on paper at least, the richest man in the world last year although the stock market "surprise" of October put that in doubt for a spell. Then, perhaps feeling his oats, he stuck his dick in the tea by thumbing his nose at the Justice Department over their antitrust action. I mostly agree with Gates on this subject (see Mooning the ogre), but Microsoft's arrogance in dealing with public opinion, especially the "public" that makes up its main customers, is a bit over the top.
The Trials-of-the-Century-of-the-Week last year provided us, thanks to CNN chasing ratings, with another inside look at the decay eating away at our legal system. A lawyer whom I trust...admittedly a major deviation...once told me that such degeneration was inevitable in a legal system that depends upon statutory law. The reason is simple. It is MUCH easier to add new law than to subtract the old. Not to mention the ever growing parasite class that depends upon the chaotic complexity of the system to make the long green (i.e. $$$).
Despite run ins with that Wacky Iraqi, Saddam the Madman (see Just the facts, Ma'am), and various other civil disturbances, the US and war were not dance partners last year.
In short, nothing much happened in the world last year. The prominence of the "What should the president name his dog?" story at years end only served to underline this. My own personal life was, on the other hand, quite interesting. The year began with a group of masked armed intruders coming into our house in the dark of night to rob us of non-existent money and drugs (Oxymoron: Intelligence in the War on Drugs), and was spiced up with a grand mal seizure and an end of the year (Christmas eve day) heart attack. Both of these events found me cavorting unwillingly with the medical elite, but, since I am getting on in years, I expect there will be more of this before there is less. My wife and I also declared bankruptcy this year, reflecting a misplaced faith in the fact that we could somehow make money on the Internet. Furthermore, I am finding it increasingly difficult to find paying work in our boom economy which, I am afraid, I must ascribe to my advancing years. But then, it may just mean that I am a cranky curmudgeon, that nobody wants around. All in all, as my youngest son remarked, "This was a cursed year for us!" But, interesting!
Which brings us back full circle to the point of this article. Despite the respite that 1997 afforded us, it appears to me that the future, the near future, may be indeed stimulatingly interesting. The demise of the Hale-Bopp comet cult by suicide and terminal kookiness (I mean, the men castrated themselves VOLUNTARILY before eating the magic potion that got them their fifteen minutes of fame!) reminds us that the millennium approaches. With only two more full years to go (I know, I know! It is actually three years before the "official" start of the next millennium, due to the "fact" that there was no year zero A.D. But, exactly who cares?), I expect that this fact alone will bring the crazies pouring into the streets with ever increasing frequency until New Year's Day, 2000, when a collective sigh of relief will sweep the world and we will go on with business more or less as usual.
Many of the very things that made 1997 so dull suggest that next year we will not be so lucky. The stock market "crash" and "recovery" only serves to remind us that there is a "down" with every "up." The continuing economic crisis in Asia is slowly but surely dragging the world's economy into major crises. I personally expect this to blow over relatively quickly, since the entire world seems poised for a bit of prosperity...all good news for American business...but economic issues are still rife with magic and mystery...so things could get very chary. And, don't forget that the gap between the richest and poorest has never been greater than it is right now. In the past, this has led to a general "off with their heads" attitude toward the rich. I have no reason to suspect that things will proceed any differently now.
Likewise, the new fad of televising trials, or at least the hoopla around these trials, may hasten the inevitable collapse of our legal system. Remember, that we already have more people locked away in prisons than any other country in the entire world, per capita and in total. Almost ALL of these people will eventually be released. Let's hope that THEY have an easy time finding jobs...
The environmental non-treaty (NOBODY seems to like this sucker!) reminds us that global warming, though unpredictable in its effect, is real. It is not known exactly what it will cause...predictions range from heat waves, droughts and oceans rising all the way to the Next Ice Age...but, most agree that changing weather patterns do NOT bode well for agriculture. El Niño, the oceanic warm spot parked just off South America in the Pacific...which may or may not have been caused or worsened by human instigated global warming...merely serves to underscore that point.
So, 1997 was just a breather in what promises to be VERY interesting times ahead.
Talk to you later...
Willy Chaplin is a man who calls himself a libertarian and thinks he has something to say to us all. This rant was previously published on How Can You Laugh at a Time Like This?
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